Non Sequitur Fridays

The Dog Park Personas

I'm a crazy dog mom.

Phew. I said it. It feels good to get it off my chest. I'm not the craziest out there, trust me. So what if I have a dog version of a Fitbit for my pup? And get daily text updates from the dog walker? I think that makes me more modern than crazy.

I digress.

A big part of having a dog in a city is taking it to dog parks. The lush fenced-in backyards of the suburbs are replaced with gravel-covered, people and animal filled dog parks. With these public parks, come all kinds of people. You think I'm a crazy dog owner? We've got parks filled with them!

The park professional

This character lives for the dog park. Perhaps they work from home, perhaps they live under a rock. Regardless, they use the dog park as an opportunity for a captive audience. You'll hear about their dog's feces last week, their upcoming doctor's appointment, and today's trip to the grocery store. They take advantage of those of us just trying to get some peace and quiet amongst the pee-ridden dirt.

The dog park clique

This is a solid group of regulars at the park. These people go once or twice a day and know more about each other than just their dogs' names. They talk dog park gossip, strategy, the best hikes and ponds, and more. While being the best of dog park friends, they only know each other as "Rover's mom" or "Lucy's dad."

The dog whisperer

No, not that kind of dog whisperer. This dog park narrator actually only talks to the dogs. Not the people. You're lucky if you get some eye contact. Or are you? A few of my favorite snippets I've heard:

  • "Oh wow, Baxter you're feeling frisky. Get off of Sadie. She's clearly not into it."
  • "Hurley is feeling a little lazy today. Hurley—go chase Wiley! C'mon… or else we're going home!"

The almighty owner

This person's dog is a gift from the heavens. If your dog sniffs it, fine. If your dog tries to play with it, you're a goner. While our dogs go to play at the park, this person's goes to be admired. Their canine is a fine piece of marble art, that we are not worthy of. Our peasant mutts must not even go near.

It's easy for me to rattle off these groups of people, as I spend about an hour a day at the park. I've also come to terms with the fact that, well, I'm a little bit of each of 'em.

What's your favorite dog park story? Which persona do you best align with?

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