Non Sequitur Fridays


I posted my first Instagram 170 weeks ago.

It was a picture of a cocktail, filtered, and captioned "Happy Birthday to me."

It got 3 likes.

Now, this could be because I only had a handful of friends at the time, or it could be because THIS IS THE WORST.

I have lectured myself about the tenants of not being annoying on the internet. Yet somehow, I've managed to break all of my own rules repeatedly, becoming the bane of my own Insta-existence, cringing at my mistakes. Cringe with me, won't you?

No one wants to see what you eat

What even made me think this would be appealing? My relationship with carne asada isn't anyone's business but mine.

... or what you drink

Yeah, I'm over 21. I can drink beers, it's pretty impressive.

We get it, you're in a relationship

Sure, he's pretty OK, but this post was more saccharine than the ice cream.

That's not my baby, so I don't really care

The kid gives good face. And I can respect how he is body positive enough to not need a shirt. But he's also the 12th toddler you've seen in as many minutes. Soon you're gonna have the same face he does.

Animals in clothes or costumes

I actually regret nothing here.

The rules

I'm not sure where I came up with these rules. I think it really all started with Facebook, or maybe it was Myspace, or some other facet of real life that is about seeming pleasant to look at and be around, and accomplished, and funny, and charming, and well-spoken, and well-read, and humble, and not the kind of person with poor grammar who writes run-on sentences. But I'm trying to cut myself some slack, too. I'm trying to balance what it means to be authentically me on the internet without irritating my friends.

What are your Instagram faux pas? What are your reasons to ignore them?

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